Thursday, March 8, 2012

Torn

The Boy mentioned something to me yesterday about the amount of work days until I leave for the Great White North.  I hadn't been counting.  I hadn't even been thinking about it much while at work.  Trust me when I say that I don't have that kind of free time. But just that short, instant-messaged conversation has me counting down now - it's funny how those things work sometimes. 

Not only am I counting down, I've now realized what kind of things this job has done to me.  Granted, the company itself is a really good company.  They have a ton of great programs in place to take care of it's employees...

In retrospect, I'm going to hate leaving at the same time.  Mostly because I am reluctant to leave the familiar... well... because it's familiar.  And I'm going to miss my family and friends something terrible.  But being that all of this is temporary (as long-term as it feels), I think I'll be able to cope.  Eventually.  I already anticipate that my first few weeks in Alaska will be the most difficult.  I hope to be kept very busy so I don't have a lot of time to reflect on my home-sickness.

What I hope gain from all of this... well, to really purge the daily demons is way up there on the list.  To regain some tolerance, rid myself of so much of the anger and hate towards people that I've gained in this last year. Oh, and obviously immerse myself in the landscape, the culture, the work.  Or, as the Boy says... to find my 'happy.'  A really great goal to have!